Me and My Life

life goes on

2012-01-30T01:15:00.003+05:30

Dear diary

Its been a long time again and I'm back in Germany during the composition of this post. And now I will share some of my recent understandings of this world. I have come to realize that those people which are not happy tend to make life of others miserable.It's like others are the reason for their present state of unhappiness. And mind it that it is not their intention , its just instinctive . What you can do is forgive them , forget and forgive are two difficult things but its no use trying to fight out of it as en eye for an eye will make the world blind. Accept it that this guy doesn't want to be happy and cannot be happy and keep that is mind while dealing with him. No this doesn't seem to be typecasting for me, well maybe it is . But I could not find any other solution to this situation. If you know do let me know.
On other front there is a lot of work that is going on right now, but its good its easier to do all this work while sitting here than while sitting in India . Meetings and clients are too common these days , I am Interacting with lot many colleagues nowadays in regards to work , doubts etc. The project manager is a really sweet lady , it looks like she is working very hard to make this project successful . And I do hope it gets successful as I am really enjoying so much work and so much thinking.
In India our managers does not like to create dependencies because they might have to pay you more or arrange and teach a new guy when one leaves. They live is constant fear that the "resource" might leave the next day and this lead to chaos and everything. I think if they give such kind of work to people why would they leave and unsettle themselves. Its politics and so on and so forth.
So lets finish this post with talk about sunlight which is a great sight nowadays with temperatures low and cold winds blowing . I haven't been able to plan or visit anywhere is such a harsh weather . Unable to plan mostly due to lots of work .
I would like to mention again that there is lots of work and you would hear a lot less from me and please forgive me for that. Oops I almost forgot that this is my first post in a new year so Happy new year to everyone .

God bless you , God bless me and God bless us all

just another day

2011-12-04T15:15:00.001+05:30

Life teaches you a lot of things. you like somethings and you hate others. One thing that I learnt recently is that I need a change either in myself or in people I talk to. Still I haven't decided which one is a better option leading to me being quiet . Will have to experiment with both the options here and there to conclude which one I'm going to adopt. It is good to know that one is not perfect as it simplifies some big things in life.
I smell low confidence in myself , I know I'm not a social animal but I think I do not try to become one. I sometimes feel like Dr Sheldon Cooper who is always amazed by all the social customs and reactions he see around himself. but he tries hilariously to fit in them like by offering warm beverage . Sometimes I feel like I'm doing the same in the eyes of others .Even though I know they need a warm beverage and I offer them that they think I'm acting just to be nice . well it's their loss not mine when they reject the beverage or try to throw it back on me. Sometimes I get hit, sometimes I don't really know if it hit because I had turned away form them or moved on after rejection.Still it's not their fault I don't behave like normal people do , So I guess no one is to be blamed . I couldn't say it was my fault could I? it would be my fault if my intentions were wrong . In my universe it's the intention that matters nothing else and I believe god is with me till my intentions are good.
I could have given you a trophy if you want but I can offer you a beverage
God bless you , god bless me and god bless us all

I'm not anti-social, I'm just not user friendly.

2011-09-25T00:39:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

This is one of my status updates on facebook, suits me quite well doesn't it. I am not an easy to understand person as everyone is expected to be complicated . Simple mindedness is not accepted as simply as it should be. Everyone thinks that you mean something else while you are saying something . They tend to read between the lines when they shouldn't and they tend to take to my word when they should not. Something should be wrong with me as everyone else cannot be wrong. But who cares I will remain who I am and will go to become who I was to. Remove all the filters and then I'm really user-friendly and easy to understand.
As I have always said that there is someone looking for me up there. He has proved it once again. I am about to get some good quality work in my office . I don't really talk about my work in my blog but this is a good opportunity for me .Everyone is so afraid of becoming jack of all trades but I strive to achieve that . No knowledge is harmful and perfection in one thing would just get boring . keep learning new things , keep changing your field till there is nothing else to do (which will not come in one lifetime I think)
I don't think Steve Jobs will be among us for much time but I will always remember his Stanford speech in which he asks us not to join the dots in the forward direction .Go with the flow of life every moment will have a meaning before the end. Life is all about living and being happy. I have a separate post about life if you want to know more about life and my views.
What else ... ya I'm ill , little fever and sore throat , and I am having to eat a lot of tablets and all. I hate taking medicines . I am among those who believe that body naturally is made to survive . it can fight off everything if we take proper care. which obviously I don't , therefore have to eat medicines .Someone told me once that one falls ill because he is not doing something that he ought to do. Maybe I was not taking holiday from the office which I ought to have taken and rested , or could be anything.
So lemme think what else do I need to take out from my head for it to be peaceful. My brother is coming back from US for some weeks and he is bringing some goodies for me to enjoy when he goes back.This makes me think that when again will I fly. Anniversary of my first flight outside India just passed and I remembered the time I had spent away from India ,home for such a long time.I remembered all that I could of that beautiful trip of mine and this make me want more of it. Anyways I have thanked god for that and will thank him continuously for being so nice to me.

"God bless you , God bless me and God bless us all "

Routine life

2011-07-18T19:24:00.002+05:30

Life is as normal as it gets with a few lessons from office now and then. Lately I have come to know some of those whom I considered to be my friend were actually acquaintances . They had given subtle hints but I was blind . Kept on behaving as a friend but not anymore. I have learn to say no ,make a face ,unfriend them etc. In short I have to let them go. I don't really know how many more ,going forward may turn out to be like him/her, but I know that I won't try very hard next time
On the contrary , I have found some friends in the office. Hoping to go a long way with them. I know there is a problem with me. I don't really know how to test my friends. I think I have said it before also I know but I guess it's a good thing that's why I don't try to change it. I think that's enough for today . God bless you god bless me and god bless us all

Btw this post is from my iPod and I am fixed between buying S2 or not

define(life)

2011-04-22T02:05:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

Whenever I try to define life ... the only thing that comes to my mind is that why should i define it in the first place. Life is this life is that . life is easy life is hard , life is a journey , life is funny, life is fun .life is blah blah etc. first of all stop defining it .stop comparing it .
Life is an entity (its not a thing ) which is unique for every person .Like we have primary keys for every row , we have life for every being in this world. god has given you this gift and its upon you how you make it for yourself. He will help you on your way in life as I might have said in my previous posts. This entity is an experience and an opportunity and what you make of this is up to you. one question that often comes in my mind is that whats my destiny ? do I have any? or should I look for it .. or should I just leave it to find me? What is the aim of this gift? So many questions and not much of a answer .and I am not really sure that I want an answer. Isn't it better when you join the dots in the reverse direction. at the end of the life , you find out why you did what you did. I have joined some of the dots till my life now , but everyday I make new dot. like this dot why am I writing this blog , I know nobody's gonna read it or maybe somebody might read it or need it. Sometimes I feel my destiny as everyone elses' destiny is to live the life to its fullest. I don't really know how to do that ! seriously , I thought about it and came to a conclusion that living to fullest means not thinking about living to fullest. today I wrote a dialog to someone on chat "dil ko jyada tension nahi dene ka" (for my English friends don't give tension to your heart)

Okies guys this is enough confusion for today and few more days. Till them have fun take care
"God bless you , god bless me and god bless us all"

too many thoughts

2011-02-07T03:09:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

Hi there , It's your friend this side after another long time , Every other day I think that I should write in my blog , I have so much to say , so much to tell , so many things in my mind that come up now and then .But I'm a lazy guy and sitting and typing is making me restless lately , I would try a video blog as now I have a webcam and I'm alone. But I know that it is not going to happen.

So one of the things that I want out of my system is a bad landlord . He is so annoying that it feels like breaking something in his house before I go , but that is not gonna happen as I'm not a violent person and he hasn't tipped me off as of now . Till now he is irritating to a good extent. Sometimes when I think why he does this , I feel like mocking him of pretending to be a German while being an Indian. He has taken worst aspects of both lives and now is trying to make my life bad , but he doesn't know that god is with me and all his attempts will go waste .(smiling at myself , so overconfidence in god). he is afraid the neighbor might see the light on during the night and will call the police thinking something bad is being done in my room. He calls his children as German, instead of Indian, I think he might be sad as his kids turned out not as he wanted them. I think he has failed in installing the ideas he wanted them to have , the great Indians customs and beliefs. I would be sad if my kids grow up and fails to follow my idols. and thinking about that he is a half German and the children would grow like that only. His father failed to get the ideas deep enough and he could not pass on the ideas he did not believe in. Another difference between his and my thinking is that he thinking he is helping me by giving a room and I'm thinking I "pay" to live here in a half German house.He in my age had suffered a lot of difficulties while settling down in Germany , he ran to Germany about 30 years ago and had a very hard time .and he is thinking that I should also face those or some of those difficulties as I am his age right now. For now I'm closing this chapter , but I wish him a happy life buy either getting converted to Indian or German , so that his life and life around him gets better.

So the next thought I have right now is should I try to go back or try to stay . a very difficult question indeed . Sometimes it feels like this place is better than India and sometimes if feels like India is better . If you would have asked me the same question if I had attended my cousins marriage the answer would have been simple , this place is better. The only reason i would like to go back is that i don't miss another marriage that is yet to be decided. God plays games and now i don't have a reason to go back and till last heard I am going back , at the end of this month. I don't know how to react to this , be happy going back home be sad going away from a good place .So I have stopped thinking and now I live in the present , Right now my plan is to go back home and that is what I will do. if this changes tomorrow or day after i will think otherwise.

life does not do what you want it to do and if you stop living in the moment it becomes a little hard. the ifs and buts are a part of life . and I believe until and unless life is waiting for me to take a decision I trust god to take it from me. I would like to end this small post by my usual quote -

god bless you , god bless me and god bless us all.

little too buzy

2010-12-29T04:53:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

Hi this is Ankur bajaj as usual , u will find no one else on my blog.. Did i forget to write my location in my previous post , how silly of me . I'm in Bonn the former capital of Germany.

So Diwali is here tom and what am i doing this diwali nothing much just dinner with my manager and then will sleep. In any case the only thing that i will miss this diwali is the puja we used to do at home , and of course the sweets and all the smoke.

Today is my birthday .Its been a year since i joined the company, D company which has send me away from home and which intends to keep me here while a cousin of mine gets married this jaunary about a month form now.
So its my birthday and this is the first time I have kept my birthday on Facebook . Every time every year without fail I remove my birthday from all social networking sites. This time ist there to check whether i would be keeping it from next year or not.. So what is up on my birthday , nothing .Could be a loneliest birthday ever, but it doest really matter. The only wish I have nowadays is that somethings happens and i am able to attend the marriage without any choice. Currently due to having a choice between 50000 and going home just after 1 month of marriage, I'm not able to choose going Delhi as the decision is being taken by my logical mind rather than emotional mind .
Sincerely hoping for some magic. Will leave right now to pack for the paris trip for the new year , Anyways happy bday to me and god bless me

God bless me,god bless you and god bless us all

Ready Steady and gooooooo---went

2010-10-17T10:30:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

I am writing it long time before I leave India , because i know i wont be able to finish it before i leave,

continued i have reached there and its over a month
exactly 2 days over the month

and now it 12 days over a month

its getting cold around here temperature is dropping per day ....
so i start , life is good here .its a small town quiet and very less population.Not very less but ya when u come from densely populated place such as Delhi it does look a lot empty.today we are going for some sightseeing and i have to get ready for that , would love to write more about my out of India experience and my new room-mate but that will have to wait , this blog post has been long overdue

so will come back sooner than later , have fun you guys

god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

the cab i travel

2010-08-23T23:42:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

just published a post and now writing another one just so that i dont get much time to write.We are five in this cab all 5 different people , if you are reading this that you know me and now four left, well its difficult to explain everybody, they are good people and i have a good time with them in my journey home

as usual long time since last word here ... there has been big changes in the cab ... people are four driver is different and only 3 of us are from original 5 and the cab is mostly silent with some small talk . Life is going good my visa has arrived from Germany and now I'm preparing myself for the trip of the lifetime, well i first trip outside the country is waiting to some true. lots of paperwork and all done and now the tickets are left to be booked and just waiting for the date of departure

Meanwhile, my trip to shirdi is just few days more. will go there ask god for a good long satisfying trip outside the country.... okies guys have fun
"god bless you , god bless me and god bless us all"

a regular update

2010-07-08T20:48:00.001+05:30

Dear diary

Being very busy in the office and now I'm working on weekends at home. life's good. I just remembered that i have to finish something for the office. i hope to finish this update soon if i don't get carried away. So the news, i am extremely thankful to few people in my office, for helping me get through to my current state and 1 thing that i have realised is that even if the other person is good and you know it ,still he wont be that friendly as he should be. Everyone is sceptical of every new person. i also tend to do that sometimes, but mostly i try to be friendly to anyone who comes in my contact.

had a long break between the last line and now ,currently in cab with date 8 July, down with heavy boring work , i don't even get time to do anything else in the office. the work is seriously frustrating , suicidal if you allow me to exaggerate ,

Only thing that keeps me going with the work is the easy transport to office and the hope that it will end soon on 16 July , but it will come back , which i sincerely hope it doesn't . Anyways what i was saying it will come back every 3 months for 3 weeks and will frustrate me more, lets hope i do better in the next release as there will be somebody who will take over some of my work. lets leave it very sad to even think about it. what I'm thinking about nowadays is the thought of going to Germany.......yeah . getting a gut feeling that I'll go to Germany in contradiction to the fact that I'm new to this account. even if i go or not this is a good motivational force to work.

well its time to wrap it up and lets hope i have something good to do after this release ends.

as usual god bless you , god bless me and god bless us all.

life has been very buzy

2010-06-06T01:48:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

Life has been very-2 busy nowadays , as you already know I'm a guy who is eager to learn whatever computer comes is his way. As a result i have put my foot hand and heart in lots of things right now.
My curiosity and willingness to learn prevent me to opt out from thing that is optional. So here i am busy all 9 30 hours of day . There is something that i request of god right now , ease of going to office is something that is one of the factors that drive me to office every single day of the month . but that ease may soon be over . I just wanted to ask him to do what he thinks is good for me overall. covertly i hope the current ease never gets over. So here i am working day and day learning something new everyday. all in all its has been a great experience , and I hope it continues like this for rest of my career. One can never stop learning and lets hope my eagerness to learn never gets over
There has been a negative development in my life, My trust in people has decreased a lot , especially in those who are working in the corporate world for sometime now. I don't believe anything told to me until something proves it. I hope for good stuff but if somebody says something good will happen , I don't really believe him . Until something comes up that proves him or her right. have grown sceptical i must say , but i still believe something good will happen because i'm a good guy at heart.
Something tells me that i am not being the best I can , the moment i figure it out will tell you all

On this note i will day goodnight to you my dear diary

God bless you , God bless me and God bless us all

PS: brother leaving for on-site today ... its time to as blessings esp for him... God bless him

Convocation

2010-04-23T23:36:00.000+05:30

Dear Diary

When I started my journey for my collage , something was odd, i was not really excited to be back at the place where i spent best days of my life. don't know if it was unwillingness to travel or anything else but anyways i boarded the train and came to collage. Met a few good friends at station and then started the journey to get insulted by our very own collage authorities. it was the event of the lifetime which may trigger the memory those years to fade. i don't really keep bad memories with me but this one will be difficult to forget.

it all started with meeting of long lost faces , faces i saw today after so long .It all felt so great so nostalgic. After seeing so unknown faces everyday at office , it was kind of overdose of familiar faces

.So there i was meeting so many people in such a short span of time . Everyone was getting drunk and all . i slept through the night in a person's room i didn't know thanks to a junior who arranged it for me . Thanks to both of them and all the very best for their future.

The drama begin the next morning, took our gowns and wore them got our photos clicked and got ready to receive the degree. Then came first fall , no degrees nothing just a photocopy and that too not valid. couldn't they get everything ready and then call us from our jobs and all .We took it softly and said okies no problem but the photo with Shiv Raj Patil should be worth it , but no director gave us the photocopies and made us say "ohh shit". Chief guest was so lazy he didn't care what was happening around him looked like he was sleeping the whole time .

Then came his super boring speech which i didnt hear much and my buddies were busy making fun of him and i was busy laughing . He gave such a boring speech but we laughed our heart out. After this nobody came for a group photograph and everyone was busy with their groups. and by the time it all ended and i went back to hostel , it was one of the sentiest times of my life, The guy in the next room was watching a movie and i was like i am missing those days of freedom and so much free time.I was like I'm really gonna miss this place. i didn't get this senti when i left the collage for the last time.

This was the diary entry from jalandhar

Till we meet next time , have a good life tc have fun

god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

Liers

2010-04-19T01:01:00.003+05:30

Dear diary

The world is full of liers . the only thing i hate about life is lying . Why in the world do people lie and that too so easily . The case is not that i don't lie, nobody was born perfect and i too lie but my lies are small and useless ones that don't require much mental effort and are no little or no consequence. I feel its very hard to lie, its easier to say truth and be done with it. Lot easier to handle and face. but i feel as it people are not accustomed to hear truth , they feel as if the person in front of them will lie only . so whatever you say is taken as a lie and responded as one.
I'm going to add a big BUT to the above paragraph . this corporate world nobody cares what you think and feel . they just want the work to be done . It is this atmosphere that has made people resort to lying . they need to do this so that they are not exploited and mistreated. Vicious circle if you may call it. one thing leads to another and other aggravates the first one . so this is what is established in the industry . Gone are those days in which lying was considered as way to hell or Gandhian era which symbolised truth. i am a big fan of Gandhiji and his ideology. he could solve anything and everything by speaking truth..
Try the truth guys and try sticking to it . They say you have to do it to survive. i say try the truth you wont regret it.

God Bless you , god bless me and god bless us all

Corporate life

2010-03-30T10:59:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

This is not the first entry this year . I have written few of them but they all are in a diary and some will never see the light of the day. i have been given testing as a work after teaching java for 45 days. life at corporate world is as i expected it to be. Not so good , peace out man , nobody's is at peace here . everyone struggles to earn money and EverReady to step on anybody.Well work is boring but is doable . The automation work is good its a kind of programming but no tension bro , moving along with life is my motto and smiling is a habit .
I like my latest gtalk message "i have stopped asking god for particular thing .... have left it on him to decide wat is good for me ... god bless me :)" .I have not perfected this art but I'm gaining steadily at it. the world and its worldly matters are becoming less and less important , i fear becoming something like a film i saw with alien virus and all.
But that stage is very far right now .world im still here and i'll be here for a long time it seems . Rest i am trying to learn German but im not so successful at it, a strange language if you know English. Its not that everyone is bad there are some good people in this corporate world some who don't care what ever you are doing . Nowadays most of my time is spent in travel to and fro from office . its a long journey and i usually sleep while coming to office . but while going i get time to meditate on the day ( ya i do it sometimes ) what to do wat not to do or just take god name and ask him to bless me
lets finish it for now
god bless you god bless me and god bless us all :)
Take care
cya

My Corporate life has started

2009-12-27T23:46:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

As all those who know me ,know that i just joined corporate world in for of CSC. feels like a good company and have been given java as technology.There is not much of name culture as i heard about in other companies . rest all time will tell. LIfe is great as of now .
A thing that i noticed about myself nowadays is that i as as "know it all".i tend to show everyone that i know a lot which i know is not true in any way. but i don't know how should i control my this bad habit . From tom morning I'll try to reduce my lectures and all . So its time for me to sleep I'll try to write more diary in my way to office in metro.
Waise there is no space at all in metros while traveling .Anyways time to sleep. i'll quote my current Gtalk status msg to finish my post.

may you live every day of the new year and many years to come ....... happy new year .....god bless

and in the end i will end my post with my usual quote. God bless You ...god bless me and god bless us all

cya
have fun

"THE" time of the year again

2009-12-18T01:44:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

I have thanked god for the joining letter orally but i thought i had cursed him through this blog so i should thank him through this also. the best 6 months of my life . and now begins the fun ride . i feel like a cowboy which has practiced for a lot of time and now its time for the real ride . He knows its gonna be fun and tough ,depending upon his attitude . So lets face it guys (and gals)(actually i was thinking of writing guys also in bracket) , a part of life has just ended and a big part has just started the corporate life , word is scary and the real life presentation will be more scarier . I am very-2 excited about the job, i feel like its my time thats gonna come .i did lots of things in this free time of my life lock3rz ,contests2win etc etc and i hope to continue them after i leave this "avatar " and wear a face for the world. So Where doe sit leave this blog , u know im getting a feeling that posts on the blog might increase as i would have lot of free time in the metro and pen has always been my good friend (except in terms of writing). Well lets hope this never stops and i keep boring everyone here with my happy stories.
We'll this is the time of year again , christmas is around the corner and so is the new year. I dont think I'll be back before Christmas so merry Xmas to ya all God bless you god bless me and god bless us all

PS: I received my gift from Santa a few days earlier from Christmas as i think i have been a very good boy hope you also get the gift you desire.

wat can i say .....

2009-11-13T00:41:00.000+05:30

Dear diary
I'm speechless nowdays wats the plan ..am i to wait for the company to call me which they say will come till april, no i cant for so much time..maybe the'll call me maybe they wont . oh god wat the hell.
anyways gave tavant technologies interview. looks like a nice company , i was the "perfect candidate" small company less then 750 people and i am a computer enthusiast who likes to work on computer .i will learn easily and will work hard. but looks like it was not to happen. but still will mail them tomorrow. Anyways i am supposed to take some lesson from the interview but i still havn't figured out what it is. maybe i get emotional and all in the interview. maybe i hav eto thikn of another answer to the tester question . i cannot really tell where did i go wrong, if i have gone wrong i'll get a negetive mail reply tomorrow.Thank i will think what could have gone wrong . So big question what now, right now search for job is going on and I'm gonna get what god have kept in his mind for me. "nothing less nothing more"
i also went to a samagam lately ....its a place where you listen to the swamiji , i dont remember his name only that he use to say "ohm namo narayan" and gives beej mantra. well i sat there for 4 hours . well i dont fell different but i got a few questions answered. still have lots of questions for god. im gonna write something about questions for god in my mind if i havn't written about them before.
Good Night Sweet Dreams take care and have fun

God bless you god bless me and god bless us all

An application to god

2009-10-29T19:13:00.000+05:30

Dear God
please tell me " mujhse chahta kya hai(what do you want from me)" keeping secret about my job at CSC, "bache ki jaan lega kya( want to kill me or what)" i only wanted vacations without any burden and now all i can think about is job. will CSC call me ? should i concentrate more on naukri.com etc . Had pleaded you for this job and now i dont know what wrong did i dobetween so as to getting my holidays wasted. I have been a good boy mainly with bits and pieces of bad stuff, come on who is perfect..But i cant seem to fugure out what wrong i did for you to punish me . I have always done what my heart has asked me to and there is nothing that i regret. i have been home for three months ,that is all i asked of you .Now could you please put me back on track so that i can live rest of my life in a good way, i have always believed what you do is good. But this suspense is killing me If you don't think CSC is good for me ,please get me a rejection lettertoday and if you think its good offer letter please.
I know you bless me every second of my life but i need a bunch of blessings right now and i dont know whats holding you back. PLease help me god for my life depends on this.You know im not so good at making decisions so please make this one for me.
Thanking you
A point in the wide universe of yours
Ankur Bajaj

September will end in few days

2009-09-23T03:51:00.000+05:30

Dear diary

Hi guys hope everyone is happy and doing good. I’m doing great as usual except few downs in life such that poor car driving and not getting call from csc till now. Not much in life right now except these two things.

The topic I am choosing to write upon is.”Modernization- a bane or boon”. And I'm not talking about industrialization or CO2 emissions. I'm gonna express my views about the change in society that is due to the modernization of everything
Let’s see. “The growth of women”. I always wonder if women are placed so highly in our sacred texts why were they mistreated and after deep thinking only reason I could find was that they were considered sacred and were to be protected from the outside world. Now they are out in wild competing with the opposite sex for a better place. Like I have mentioned before girls always get more marks then boys. The communication is getting simpler and tougher. For instance I may not have known what my class 12th friend would be doing right now if there was no facebook or orkut for that matter. But this has a negative point, you don’t reply to a mail or u don’t come online the other person might think u have blocked him or u are avoiding him, even if u have a genuine reason. The fun of meeting face to face is gone; guys meet online talk discuss at length but the emotions and expressions are not included unless some1 specially writes them or fake them. Another thing about the Americanization of Indian society is that the unreliability, falseness, decreased respect for elders, frequent divorces etc has increased. Well the list is long, but the long and short of my argument is that these things are not necessary for someone to be modernized. These things can be left to the Americans only, doesn’t suit Indian DNA. India has always been a country of customs and traditions, but Americans lack this basic thing. A counter argument would be that these are chains which bind us, for which I would like to say that if you think these as chains then only you would feel like that if you accept these guidelines and don’t think them as burden. Saying this I am not saying that follow all of them to the letter at least one knows what is good or bad, just don't follow Americans blindly. They are an unhappy race of humans

I think this is going way to long and I need to sleep its 3 35 am now and it’s my time to sleep. This is my normal time nowadays.

god bless you and god bless me and god bless us all

my bro celebrated his birthday

2009-09-10T14:57:00.000+05:30

Dear diary
hi guys hows everything. i m doing good. hope you are doing fine

My big bro ,bhai celebrated his birthday on 3rd with lots and lots of phone calls and a cake party with friends. He spent all day getting wishes and all . On the other ahnd i recieve 6-7 calls from friends.Basically , i havnt celebrated birthday with any of my friend will now . None of my casual friends even know when is the day . I think i'll get a lot of or msgs if i let my orkut or facebook display my birthday on.but i wont do that as usual beacuse i think if someone wants to wish me he/she should look for birthday, finding which wont be difficult i dont mind getting few extra calls that day but still. End of discussion.
I am in a happy and satisfied state of mind right nowand sometimes i wish world would end right here right now so that i do not see the bad times .My faith in god is making me hang on to my csc job that he gave me after after so much request , And now i pray everyday that i get the date of joining and i join this company when and where it all depends on him . I am not really looking for a job right now but i have resumes on all the sites like monster etc My CDS form got rejected didnt have much hope in it but still it was a chance , Gods choice , who am it to interfare(putting my mistake in god's name) You'll see mention of god & faith a lot of times in my recent posts and i hope you understand why.
God bless you , god bless me and god bles us all

some one please say "amen" :)

if you see only hopelessness ........ means you are looking the wrong way

2009-08-23T13:05:00.003+05:30

Dear diary
ganpati bappa morya -ganesh chaturthi mubaraq ho aap sabhi ko . Saath main navroz -parsi new year ki bhi shubhkamnaye.
i read this mail from someone and i really liked it

Micchami Dukadam
Khamemi Savve Jiva - I forgive all the living beings

Savve Jiva Khamantu - I seek pardon from all the living beings

Mitti Me Savva Bhutesu - I am friendly towards all the living beings

Veram Majjham Na Kenvi - And seek enmity with none

these lines are all about asking for forgiveness from one and all. and also forgiving all. Well i have always tried to adopt this approach but im but a human being easily fed to emotions and mistakes are just the steps required to grow.Well i may sound confused now, it happens . So the thing in my life right now is that i need to find a job. how much time more will i enjoy my life too much good is also not good for health. its time for change and now im convincing myself that i need to find a job.
Accenture gave joining and my mates are joinig on 31st aug good for them . The time to earn a living has come. May god bless them so that the professionalism that is so widespread and so negative most of the times gets reduced with new generation joining , i know the opposite if this is going to happen but still u can pray for world peace why not this

I have learned to write small posts rather than long ones so this is it god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

pamper yourself

2009-08-18T00:56:00.001+05:30

Dear diary
so August is here and there is no progress in my status. life has been good but the scare is high ..... will i get a call , i get a call. I think about it every odd hour will i have to search for job or i'll get a grand entry in the tech market. CSC guys are getting on my nerves by the day.....
its been time since i have studies something and they are planning to take a second interview according to the csc group , i donno wat will happen but its getting scary by the day..... market is dull and im all pampering myself with wat ever i want wasting time to do wat i always wanted to do gaming series. i dont know if i need to do job searching right now.
life is a puzzle and im running away from it right now living it for once . i dont wish to solve it i need time to solve it for me. please do something god some light in the end of tunnel . hope is there but it wont be there untill u get some signal.
waiting for something

july half over

2009-07-20T19:40:00.002+05:30

Dear diary

life is going on very smoothly ...... so smooth that it sometimes scares me that what is there for me in the future .
Half of the july is over and tom most probably im going for harry potter the sixth ......and than im gonna do kite flying .........yes its the kite flying season again...... 15 aug when we control the freedom of kites . i just love being in control of something .Most of the times its my kite that goes after being bit by another , but still i am learning considering i didnt had much chance to fly a kite as i have a elder brother who is good at it but this time im gonna put into practice all i have learned after i was allowed to handle the thread.
I completed the series house md 5 seasons and full metal alchemist long ago nowadays i have started scrubs ,24 and hustle. im loving the time pass. i got myself few novels and havnt been able to get time to read them ;) . my father has got transferred and i do miss him.
ya something interesting happened since the last time i was here . I spent half a day at a place called noormahal and what an experiance that was. it was a sunday and there was no shop open for food and all. it was so hot and there was nothing in the home as pop had just shifted there . well it was a long and a tiring day .lot kgs of salt from the body :D.
went to col met nishkaam dubey and gujju . took the provisional but didnt go to get the dmc as i didnt know they were distributing them.
rest all fine and great .......
i'll go now play a game and all
will cya later
god bless u god bless me and god bless us all

second post of june 2009

2009-06-30T23:41:00.003+05:30

Dear diary

So this is me again .............. who else would you find in my blog...... its been 20 odd days at home and july month is about to start in few minutes . i would i like to write my second post of this month. life has been good with my new graphics card and lots of series that i have collected in my last semester. house is my current time pass. and have completed full metal alchemist.
I am facing mixed emotions nowadays...... should i work should i njoy ? should i loop for a job or should i wait for csc. my god help me bless with a solution.
As you all know i just completed my engineering and am home full time now. no work just using the electricity at home to play to watch TV and to download games and songs. i am so perplexed about the current situation that im not able to concentrate on new things to learn and explore. i fear job so much that i think i wont be able to do any leisure activity after i enter my job fu fledged so im cought between masti and learning new things that i generally do in my free time

This all and when i tried to install linux got stuck and will not move at least when u are using linux u learn new things u research new things. but im stuck at that too as linux was a place which didnt have distractions like games or torrent in xp and vista

god is good meri joning aa jayegi :)
god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

i wrote this on bus to delhi

2009-06-10T12:58:00.002+05:30

Dear diary
Time over at jalandhar. Was not a good city but lot better than .....donno something worse. lots of ups and downs. so many of them that me a case of short term memory loss cant remember them all. When i came here the college was a jungle and for me jungle book had just started. people just hated delhiwallas and i know why they do so, as guys tend to be mean and selfish. and when they saw me they expected me o be like that only , and when i turned out to be different they had a difficult time accpting me and even my co delhi walas didnt expect such a nature from me. So while so unaccptable i was i found very good friends by the time i left the college. while i spent my life at college i met a lot of people good bad and no not so ugly.
बुरा जो देखन मैं चला बुरा न मिल्या कोए
जो मनन खोजा आपना मुझसे बुरा न कोए
so i found no ugly or i just tried to find good in all, thats i nice quality i realised just now. So its some time i have found people who love me for wat i am however irritating and frustrating i can be at sometimes or most of the times. i was a sweet mouthed person till i experianced how people tend to take advantage of you , tend to manipulate you to do their liking . They dont care abou the feelings of the person they manipulate , they just wish to get their job done i didnt knew it in the starting but i continued to get manipulated even after i know wat was going on. i just wanted to know wat these people can do. but i was foolish enought to let them know that i know about the scheme either after or sometimes before the work. i cannot keep such things is my stomach as there is a sense of superiority after telling them i know your secret. all of ones life he /she thinks about superiority as its natural as it is natural for a human to reach heights above others .
So i leaned that you get nothing when u are tensed or frustarated . i still get tensed sometimes but i still try to be happy all the time. Getting angry solved nothing and it creates more problem than solving them. Solving problems taks a cool heart and a resolved mind. Big problems can be solved by having a composed mind, u conqure your mann and control your life. this may sound psychic but at the end i would like to thank the moon for his unconditional support and good ears . he used to listen to my request and give courage to solve my problems . U have been a great help thanks a lot. U are the only thing that remains constant in my life keep helping me .

God bless you god bless me and god bless us all

the end is here

2009-05-28T23:34:00.000+05:30

Dear diary
lots have happened in my life since the last post of mine.
few good things and a bad thing u can get the regular update from the twitter where i have joined and i usually tweet new things that happen
the thanks giving party was the best ever attended. i danced a lot for 24 hours from hostel night to the thanksgiving. i have never danced so much in my life and the thing that happened nect day is unspeakable. My dearest aunt ....god bless her soul.
the time has come when the goodbyes has begun two mates are leaving tommorrow .Donno when will i see them again. i wish them farewell , do good in anything you do.
So this is gonna be the sceane in the few coming days farewells and keep in touchs....... lots of people will leave never to be seen again or heard from.
i got too much from this placeor the life of these 4 years to be able to return it ..........
i will finally be able to increase my cg to 60 % tom and after we enter this again wont matter, all that will matter is how we work in the company whenever the joining comes.
A puzzle solved
i today came out to know that why i am so boring and pakau. just because i dont follow the social conventions and social traditions or bend peer pressure make me different, the resistance i pose to change in me, to the way normal youth behaves nowadays make me little boring and pakau
the rules i made to resist myself from getting addicted make me seem less open .

col is coming to an end

2009-05-08T12:19:00.003+05:30

Dear diary
Long time has passed since my last post and nothing much has happened since then. project work is still going on and bad farewell ,college tours photos and etc . the project has its speed and it looks like its gonna be a last minute finish as we are stuck at a place and are not able to move fwd

About the farewell fiasco ,well havent seen a poorer farewell in my 4 years and to say of it juniors didnt wanna give it , they gave just for the formality.Well i really dont wanna remember what happened in that not so farewell like farewell . there was no prepration due to no respect and nothing in it to call it a good bye

So leaving it behind i come to the point of saying farewell from college. the time has come its almost over, the life of four years , the time i relished .............Comon this is senti today is 8th may 2009 by the end of the month i will be gone to my home sweet home and will be lying on bed doing nothing al all. well im gonna miss my room no 108 124 and 201 , loved the way the time passed here.
i still remember the first day . i was standing in the csh and then to library and then to the path to hostel no 1 . I thanked god that day for letting me in to a college . it was so hopeless behore that .I entered through the main gate in a car ,drove to csh .
There was confusion all around .Is delhi quota over or is it still there.Someboday said this somebody said that and finally through the side door into the library current refrence room, in a line with anil ahead of me , we both decided to take ice , as there are only two seats left in a branch named ice which ofcourse i hadnt heard of before . i decided to take it up as i didnt want to drob a year.And then i walked to hostel 1 to get myself a room .o dpnt remember the room no where i lived in suitcases. two suitcases and a bed this is wat i had .performed poorly in exams and on the top of it all slept is the class . Then came the ragging ,the thing i resisted is the begining , got afraid of the seniors and spend nights in tension of how to evade the sessions in the closed rooms . e of the things need to be sensored.well ya god bless mei love this place.

in the end i sand kabhi alvida na kehna on stage and i always knew im gonna miss this place
god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

A poem after a long time

2009-04-15T00:31:00.002+05:30

Is your god better or mine

It doesn't matter
who i am
A hindu , a muslim
or a christ

O maybe none of them

none of any

I reuse to believe
That god could pass a sieve

He is the faith
the undefined
the unexplainable
the hope
the empathy
he is the peace

and whence we fight
it aren't right

The immortal doesn't live
at a place
oh god gimme some
solace

You fight with someone
because you fear
you then forget
that god will hear

He sees you
he sees us all
and maybe he cries
and maybe he knows

the greatest foe of man
is the bow of man

God bless us you
for you need this
god bless us all
for we all need this

Ankur bajaj
1:43
14/4/09
hostel room

No comments requested

14 4 2008

2009-04-14T23:37:00.003+05:30

dear diary
Our family astrologer says i'll study more. well so unlikely it may seem but nobody has ever questioned him or watever he says gets true, but we'll see
Just 19 working days left and 40 as such and the life of hosteler at nitj seems to be coming to an end.who knows where will i be when i study more and if i study more!!
Its been fun being in a hostel with couple of friends around.Sitting in the room all by myself. those latenight chats when youve got something imp to do about an entirely irrelevant topic . The feeling of fire which makes you a rocket.Well im having a hard time believing we are not going to be here for more time.
I just returned from a trip to jwalaji and chintapoorni , had to stay there in night as no bus after 6. so here we were 3 guys to a pilgrimage . one of us couldnt stop swearing as it had become hi s habit.The trip went fine except the night when i had not taken the blanket due to hygiene reasons .i always fear that i'll catch this of that communicable disease if i take a blanket from a room like that. so we talked a little and slept .Shot lots of pics and then we came back.
im not a groupism kind of person like to keep it small. mayebe i fear that will not get lot of people who think im a nice guy and one reason of that is, im too blunt to be true. i like to keep things straight and and simple, no complications , no lies , preferably just pure truth.I can be unreasonable sometimes when im not in a good mood , which is when someone tries to take advantage to me , which a lot of people do. They do not consider me consider me as another human , hust someone who can be made to work with little please and all. I know when im playing bad and i hope people should understand too, but many dont and thats whey i get angry. i donno when people dont take such hints and get out.
Im always so manipulatable when im in good mood. Forrest gump says stupid is what stupid does . well i also sometimes dont think before speaking but im trying to to reduce it but pls god help me.Sometimes goodness is stupidity ,well not sometimes almost 90% times goodness is taken as stupidity. People dont expect you to do good as they didnt behave good, but when they see me they think im stupid to help them unconditionally when they didnt at their chance. U know why i help unconditionally because i expect half heartedly to be not played with after all im selfish too . everbody does this-that for some reason and my reason for writing is simple , somebody notice me and understand me, which i know is not going to happen

god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

lots to tell

2009-03-22T17:03:00.002+05:30

i have lost to tell to all you guys who are not reading me. the fest utkansh is coming to an end. well its a typical sad ending in my life . Utkansh didnt happen as it was supposed to happen or what i thought of utkansh at the end of my second year.
----------
Utkansh has come to an end and so has started my cold . im suffering from cold and am bedridden for two days.So where was i utkansh had so may shortcomings from the administrative side but the fest as such was brilliant .The Dr kumar vishvas maglomaniac his some old some new jokes his spontaneity and his simple poems .All in all he was too good. and infact i have got a pic of his with me. which i shot after waiting for an hour in the guest house where he was chatting with director over national and international issues. he lied a little bit played with the sentiments but have got style. An engineer who dropped from nit allahabad , now have a doctorate degree in hindi. The other kavi that came were also impressive but not much junta listened to them
them there was the rock show in which we saw demonoic resurrection perform deathmetal on the stage of oat .i dont suppose anybody in the crowd understood anything but the crowd went mad on it, the crowd of NIT is MAD literaly kisi bhi chees pe cheer karna shuru kar dete hai

---------
im down with the common cold will write more when i come out of it
god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

my long post

2009-03-12T19:43:00.000+05:30

It’s been a long time since I talked to myself in written. So here I am on the Delhi to Jalandhar superfast train, I start to write a diary
Dear diary
Sorry for such a long wait for the entry, actually I have been very busy doing everything movies, series to sleeping the life is the final sem hasn’t been uneventful. The games of g1 g2 and g3 and wo final sem ki feeling and of course the trip to pong dam, viney ki extra feeling and many other things.
Sometimes I feel that I’m gonna miss my freedom of waking up and sleeping to my wishes after college ends in few months gosh 2 months remaining and I have lots to do as the say miles to go before I sleep . I am coming back from holi which I didn’t celebrate and I'm coming back just for the reason of coming back to last semester. Utkansh this time doesn’t have any administrative work that can excite me for the sole reason that they don’t think I’m of any importance to the cause of utkansh and I wish to enforce myself on them. My dear friend says there was nothing better than techniti 07 and I totally agree with him. I knew more about that fest than I know about utk09
From this college of mine I’ll take back lots of memories which I’ll cherish whole my life. The memories include prominently techniti 07 the people I met all kinds – good bad and the ugly. The real face behind all those mask. Lying awake throughout the night just for watching movies. Wo single room main spent 3 yrs , pratik, nagu , batta, nmc, kamal , desilva etc damm I’m getting senti yup I am and I can’t imagine a life full of strangers each fighting to prevent themselves from cuts or just stepping over the to get a raise . How will I be able to survive in the big bad wide world …..?feeling so sad just to think about that
I need to change the topic and I choose pong dam trip. We went there for an industrial trip to learn power generation the whole trip can be summarized in the 50 odd pics I have uploaded on orkut. To sum it up It was quite perfect the songs the mast the food and the school trip type feeling, everything just right ….wahi boys ki badmashiyan , wahi ladkiyon ka gaana gaana …… it was too good. The same feeling that came in school trips two teachers but the solo diff being that one teacher actually sang with us in bus which a school teacher wouldn’t do. Iske hone ke baa dab 1 aur icha jaagi hai a 2-3 days trip and I sincerely ask god to fulfill my this wish of mine just keep the order priority order lower than job wish, I may have mentioned it that I think I am the luckiest person on planet and the god is too much happy with me . So I am very hopeful that this wish comes true. I had a dream to work my mind out in utkansh and it just took god few guys to take this away from me. It looks like god is saying enjoy buddy kaam-vaam bahut kar liya. Looks like god wants me to enjoy and I only hope I enjoy enough not to regret
Someone may have read my quote on orkut and gtalk about defensive attack. I wrote that just for the simple reason that somebody attacked me when I was just having fun and I considered him a good guy. You know to make truth a truth you need two guys 1 who can speak and other who can listen to those words. maybe I want ready to listen those words from his moth and now he surely doesn’t know that he has lost something he may have said it out of feeling or maybe he really meant it but all in all he lost someone’s faith and he may never get it back . I will have to talk to him, it’s like compulsory for me, but he’ll never hear “me” again. Will I’m not being philosophical but that’s the way I am …. Writing this post just because he or anybody he knows will never read this. Even if there is a remote chance I wouldn’t have written it
There are few regrets that I’ll surely leave here when I take my degree .I’ll not mention them as I don’t wanna think about them. There is just one thing about me that this place couldn’t change but has reinforced it is my insecurity and the possessiveness …..and ya my status of single and not ready to mingle. This place has surely increased my ability to listen but my compatibility with girls is still a question, compatibility in the sense whether an unknown girl will be able to spend an hour or two with me without getting bored . I do not despise my nasal voice, my bad looks or my boring talks but these things really don’t matter. Therefore I take no steps to improve them, or I may think these are bad just because I’m low in confidence. That has been a problem that I have faced all my childhood but surely I have overcome a lot of it in these 4 years
I have just entered Punjab and I need to change my SIM.
Just that day I was thinking that one can write a book on how to survive in the govt. college. A govt college differ from a private college in thousands of ways and I may try to mention some of them .Never believe what a sarkari officer says I week may be equal to a year or two. If 4-5 officers tell you 1 week, its 2 raise to power weeks. If you wish something to be done you need to devote lots and lots of time so as to match the little time of the officer. You need to wait outside his office and try not to miss any appointments .only he can miss appointments not you. Don’t try to find loopholes in the rules as there aren’t any and if by chance any exist, it will be covered as soon as you exploit it or even think about it. Rules can be bend with logic only if the other person is ready to hear .Almost all rules have ifs and buts associated with it so under suitable condition they can be made to work your way
The sun is about to set on the western trees over the vast lands of food. A station named sadugarh just went pass. A water tank , a scare crow , a tower with three phase electricity , rice field with water mirror , the old farmers hut , the big farmhouse with football shaped water tank , Honda city between farms and a canal for irrigation this is what I see outside my window.
As always god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

Hey guys out there long time na

2009-02-11T21:15:00.000+05:30

I have been too buzy trying to find something to do that im doing all sorts of things nowdays watching soaps working on projects playing monopoly , lying and listening to music and finally doing nothing for hours , that I am not able to get time to write a blog post
So here I am feeling good but empty of any desires to keep the mind running. I’m liking the time but hating to spend it on the first class in the morning why do the teachers even come for first class. Well I hate getting up in the morning after sleeping so late in the night. My didi’s ticket is booked and its just 2 days before my exams and she expects me to come and see her off. Which I thing would be difficult but I donno what to say, I donno what to expect from myself whether I would be able to come or not. I do what I do the best leave this on time and god. They decide and pass on the message.
So the convention I was trying to get done was canceled due to the most unexpected reason ever the change of administration
in the end god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

ps i wrote this long ago but couldn't upload thats why such an abrupt end
see you soon

maybe the toughest decision till now

2009-01-01T20:26:00.003+05:30

dear diary
me-i canceled my graphics card
diary(shocked)-
m-yup i did it
d-decision was tough?
m-but still i took it
i sacrificed of delayed the graphics card for atleast 6 months
d-why?
m-just for my future... i dont need anything to come between me and my 60%....
d-well the gap isnt much
m-still i wont take chances
d-you have always done wat you wanted?
m-ya thats why this decision was the toughest one to take
d-being brave huh?
m-ya i dont wanna ruin my life just because of a small wish
d-tere bachpan ki wish?
m-koi nahi thoda aur intezaar kar legi

you might be thinking yeh kya ho raha hai
thats me talking to my diary

so thats it no gaming nothing just this last sem in which i will have to work hard as i have been trusted with lots of responsibilities and all that. i only hope that i am able to fulfill them
happy new year to everyone out there
hope all the wishes of yours get fulfilled this year

and ya i celebrated my birthday through a cake after a long-2 time. was in my tayaji's home and there we cut that cake. well got calls expected and even few unexpected and few didnt came. but no gila -shikwa and i am not in a mood to tell them that they didnt wish me
well thats it for now
god bless you god bless me and god bless us all
signing off

20 december 2008

2008-12-20T00:15:00.002+05:30

dear diary
i have been home for a few days now. njoying my vacations and planning to buy a graphics card asap.
u know guys i always remove my birthday date from orkut as soon as it approaches like i did this year. i decreases the no of wishes i get but im comfortable with it. atleast only people who remember it call. well cant say there are much of them but i like the day to be quite one spending it with my family. as family comes first.........
well even my good friends dont remember this day as i havnt given them any treats till now
well if u wish to find my birthday date it wont be hard for u its almost everywhere on internet i just dont like guys wishing me just because its on orkut. I dont thing thats wrong......... frankly i dont care if u wish me on my birthday or not. well heroes episode no 10 "its coming". i have no plans for it lets c what the fate has in store for me.
lets change the topic..... my result almost full was out and i didnt go as i expected it to do. well fail nahi hua moreover min 6.8 banegi ab dekhte hai kitni banti hai
life has been buzy these few days and i have got lots of work these days so lemme complete that tom i think i will pick up a topic and give my views on it

siging off
ankur bajaj
god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

3 dec 2008

2008-12-06T02:24:00.003+05:30

dear diary
So from today we will start my post as dear diary. Date 3 december 2008 and i think it is the birthday of the "sexi"we arent in touch much. i have tried but he seems to njoy his life and so am i . so why interfare!! lol so the paper got over day before yesterday and i just hit the bad luck in my last paper. my HOD did and unthinkable, he punsihed the students for nothing wrong.... just joking he wont be harsh .ie he cant be as we are the final year. major project ppt tomorrow and got a pc alloted yesterday, a nice core 2 duo 2 gb ram lcd screen etc computer with a fast internet connection.will start working after giving the ppt hopefully im not going home till 10th and my brother will buy a hdd and send it across . so the big news of the season ......ISTE student chapter under me and 3 events already planned with the biggest event student convention to be planned and executed by the group ajay pal sir assembled and dissapeared. As everything has some reason , group is there we'll work hard. So the word now is start working and get the events in order. so i dont need any astrologer to tell me that im gonna be busy in next sem . Utkansh work has also started and is moving steadily. the convenar of utkansh is not much interested in talking to me .... i think so though have never tried and am not skeptical about it.... but still lets c wat happens. right now a thought of getting e in control in control is coming again and again. We had a party a daru party at the night of exams end everybody who drinks got drunk and danced on the song ma da laadla

signing off
god bless u god bless me and god bless us all

ps posted on 6 dec 2008 pppt went good and havnt worked much on the project. hard drive is bought n mom will bring it here

11/28/08

2008-11-28T19:34:00.002+05:30

well the life is being funny for a few days
so funny i almost cried hearing the speech on ndtv sahi main bahut senti ho gaya tha

he said that to shut them up impose emergency and kill the terror causing germs otherwise the incidents like mumbai will keep on occurring again and again
what the hell happened in mumbai ...... they kill so many comman man and so many uncomman man got killed too
well to heck with them i wish govt would do something. and i think something will be done but let it be some solid work and nothing should be lenient for the sake of public let the come down hard

i remembered a even from my past life donno when it occur but it sure gives a lesson
it was around 5-6 had my 2nd term exams and the result had come out. as usual i failed in hindi those were the initial days of my failing in hindi( have failed a lot more times after that) ya and i didnt show my report card to my parents. thought i would be scolded and grounded . so we went on a holiday to some hill station and i ruined my holiday by just thinking they'll come to know they'll come to know.......

so guys i learned a lesson that day ..... lying is a very bad habit and say wot i didnt even get scolded when i came home. learned a lesson and never lied to my parents after that.......................

soits me with my last exam left siging off ankur bajaj
god bless me god bless u and god bless us all

11/17/08

2008-11-17T00:37:00.003+05:30

aaj kisi ko poems likhta dekh ke mujhe mere wo bachpan ke din yaad aa gaye jab main bhi kuch panktiyan likha karta tha. around class tenth mujhe yeh keeda tha. poems likhne ka. aur wo meri class ka poet "the horizon" , i used to like his work a lot and that induced the keeda in me. well i think i wrote a few good works and lots more bad works but all in all i was satisfied by wat i did and i have it all saved in a file. maybe i'll write them all in the vacations or maybe i wont lets c because i have been thinking of wat to be done of them for a long -2 time i will see if i present world with my beautiful works of will let them stay away from world
i dontthink they should stay away but yeh aalsi haathon ko kaun samjhaye

"lets hope for the best and leave to the god the rest"

this is wat i say most of the time
leaving that topic i have my final practical exam today and i need to study lol
maybe this is the last post before exams

signing off
ankur bajaj
god bless u god bless me and god bless us all
amen

11/12/08

2008-11-12T02:39:00.001+05:30

somebody asked me why im so stable nowadays. as something big has occured and i had showed very less reaction to it. i replied life has played so many tricks that i have become immune to it. well thats not true exactly , nobody can be immune to life and its game . it can strike when u expect it least.
macain would never have thought that a african-american would defeat him in the election . everything happens in the world. India beat Australia 2-0 wasn't it great australia tried a lot but couldnt help themselves. it was so feel good factor. saurav dada left international cricket and so did jumbo aka kumble. well a great loss to Indian cricket but i kinda liked kumble his personality well wat to say he is gone. dada was okay and everyone is gonna miss him . maybe in some future he will be a coach. which i think is gonna happen . few years of commentary and then coaching....
ending of another semester and this one is the most vella sems of all. i got placed " marriage " and then will i be able to cross the required persontage of marks. lets hope for the best. the thought that is coming again and again is that when is csc gonna send the offer letter..pls csc pls send it fast .otherwise im gonna try off campus. and i only hope i dont have to do that. god do something .........
this is ankur najaj signing off god bless u god bless me and god bless us all

its over

2008-11-05T10:06:00.003+05:30

when i read the astrological forecast on my birthday last year i never thought it could come so true. it said that months aug , sept and November will be eventful and see the beauty aug was filled with regections and september with csc and now november with "the wedding"

ofcourse not mine!!!!!!

first wedding in my grandmothers family finally concluded on a happier note
i have never seen a wedding from such a close level
i have been involved in weddings of my other sisters from my maternal side but no with such a close precision
wedding was good i wore my best "costumes" till now bought specially for the wedding. the most interesting thing in the wedding was the brother in law, the first person i ever saw that could barely speak. not literally but he was so over softspoken that i'll say that all the softspoken girls i have ever met would shy on talking with him. well see the irony of the situation he was a hostel student from ferozpur and still he was not interested much in addictions of student life . the greatest irony of it all was that he had no hobby that he could discuss with me or anybody else. He just answered the question asked and the he would shut up . when i when to his house i tried talking to him and well ...... he may read it so i will shut up now and will continue my description of marriage .
well my didi went away from me what else could have happened my dear sister . well she was the oldest of us all and we all cried , yes i cried and well life would never be same again , she has gone to mohali now and soon she will fly to Australia and then with an ocean in between the distance is bound to increase .well there is a lot of difference between talking to the face than talking to the email server. well i hope she has a very happy married life and hope she is able to make jijaji talk. on this note signing off
god bless them, god bless me and god bless us all

heya

2008-10-06T15:54:00.002+05:30

life is good on this side of the computer
i hope its better on that side too
as u know got placed with a moderate package and now there are not much of the companies coming to the campus but i have never been hungry for more
will wait if something better comes up
i feel like quitting studying but continuing learning
like they say"i was born great education ruined me "
i wanna end this ruining of personality by education
well cant help it i have to come up to a decent score before i leave this place
well i see myself searching for new things to fill my free time as im not able to study nowdays
well first wedding in the bajaj family coming up soon and i cannot do much work in it why is the college situated outside the city
well its a big occasion and the eldest of us will leave india after the marriage . well im feeling sad for the fact that she will be leaving us but the shaadi is gonna be an exciting affair
well somebody hacked my gmail account yesterday but he didnt change the password. as far as i could gather it was not done by a noob he was an expert or maybe better than a noob well 3 of my friends send hi to me while they thought i was online and this event had put me in a shock how could anyone and in a way why would anyone hack my account . i havnt bought any big online account or anything. well i dont think he got anything from my account so lets c if anything happens in the near future

i am ecstatic

2008-09-08T01:11:00.000+05:30

today i know that it is 8th of sept and i am dead sure about it.................. i got placed today finallllllllyyyyyyyy i have a job, the company csc the place nitj
the main thing i wanted to write about at this time was feeling . im feeling on the top of the world . the god blessed me with the job. i am so thank ful the god who passed on the blessings to me , the feeling of weightless and burden less . the feeling will live for 3-4 days before i start feeling the burden again. well im feeling great , ecstasy watever u name it. well this kind of feeling is not new for me but whenever it comes i almost cry ....... today was the "day"

the main point is im not berozgaar anymore i have a job a place (not decided yet ) to go when i passout from this place.
whole of the credit of getting placed goes to god. he blessed me with this job and i accept it as a gift man he blessed me again, one more time in this life he blessed me with happiness . i'll be forever thankful to him.
As i say god blessed me so he may also bless u and us all.........

suddenly im feeling great

2008-08-22T00:17:00.003+05:30

suddenly its like i have never been better feeling like being on top of the world . it all happened when i rewinded the tape and saw how i got three head shots and was out of the race i realised he was playing and i was the game and there must be a turn in which i will win , when he will help me win. now its just the wait when will that moment come and when will i receive his gift that he is wrapping for me maybe 2-3 more head shots or maybe more i dont care now
im skipping satyam and now i am gonna try for csc or capgemini which ever comes first both are good companies
its feeling good when u drop a company after three companies drop u infact its feeling great
as i say

god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

I have never felt like this before

2008-08-21T18:08:00.002+05:30

I have been helpless before been unlucky before but this was the extreme case of helplessness I have ever felt ( I know god must have something for me in store) but still I was feeling quite depressed and helpless yesterday until the call from a senior of mine . Well 3 companies written clear in two companies expelled in hr and in one out in gd just pure game played by god. I know god likes to play games, who doesn't and this time I was the toy yest night I had waited for 5 hours just to hear im not eligible why couldn't they take the interview and just ignore me later on. No they couldn't do it they had to take the feeling of expelling a person out and the lady was smiling I cannot forget the face it was like she is saying you are not a human and only humans are eligible . Well she shouldn't have done it and god too allowed her to do it , yest night I was angry with god for making me a fool it was such a fantastic technical interview the person asked me whatever I knew whatever I was good in I thought I was the sign of my good luck coming , but who knew it was god playing with my emotions . Well I like his style but I didn't like it on me . my current days are going disastrous , teachers are threatening me to come to class otherwise they will detain me and I'm not getting a job , I wish to get a job as early as possible so that I can concentrate on the other important things in hand like my attendance which is going down the drain and I don't know wats going on in class. The 1^st class test are from sept first week and I'm still in dark about everything. Maybe this is a test and I'm sure I'll pass it through with a job in hand. Well I need to go to a class now therefore

god bless you god bless me and god bless us all please

God must be having something good for me in his mind

2008-08-18T17:55:00.000+05:30

Well couldn’t find any other reason why I was not selected in tcs and Accenture maybe wipro maybe evalue serve maybe csc or maybe cape gemeini whatever it is I hope it comes early as wat I lack is patience and this placement is testing my patience . well I missed in tcs hr and now I missed in Accenture gd I donno wats gonna happen ahead but this time of life is quite frustrating . 1 more thing that’s disturbing my mind is the amount of classes im missing for getting placed .i hope I don’t get detained and am able to pass all subjects easily .
Well god tussi great ho lets hope for the best and wait for the gift he has for me in the waiting till than im gonna try try and try till I get some job and free myself from the moh maya of college .well I really wanna get free soon and fly . my dream of getting a card is getting delayed more and more , and I need to wait more and more . well I donno exactly when my dream of getting placed is going to get fulfilled but everyone says its gonna be soon just wait . everyone things im capable enough to get a good job but when they hear my cgpa they say how come tcs didn’t take you . well I donno the reason myself . only plausible explanation that I can give is the I was overqualified and tcs didn’t think I would stay . maybe the hr guy didn’t like the way I spoke or sat maybe god didn’t wat me to get into that whatever the reason is or was I have forgotten about tcs and am looking forward for wipro now. Well why did the guy take the girls who didn’t speak about the topic and spoke very bad
Well lets hope for the best and god bless

today tcs disappointed me

2008-08-13T18:08:00.002+05:30

today was my tcs interview
as i had not planned it did go well but they failed to recognize the talent in me and they didnt select me
well the value has tcs was low in my eyes it decreased further they are blind enough to take people like a guy i know he knows nothing about computers and is a bully type i donno maybe they were looking for that kind of people in any case tcs case is closed and now opens the accenture case
yaar itni muskil se written clear kiya tha sab bekar ho gaya
koi nahi hota hai lets hope for the next interview and work for it paise jyada nahi de rahi lekin naukri to de rahi hai na bas phir kya kya pata kismat main kya likha ha
i donno wat ever god has written in the fate will happen nobody can change it and maybe tcs was not in my destiny
a little disheartened but surely not angry lets wait and watch im sad

god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

Today I think is 6 Aug

2008-08-06T19:59:00.000+05:30

Today I think is 6th of aug, it’s been a week I have been bedridden. When you fall ill a lot of questions arise in your mind and you have lots and lots of time to search for the answers. The thinking floats towards the unthinkable types especially. First thing that arises in my mind was why me oh good lord! Why me? With all the bad guys existing in the world why a good guy like me what wrong did I do to somebody. I'm always a helping guy not to mention being a little on the safe side, so that nobody harms me. The basic question …. I have never lost faith in you which I haven’t still and I never stop spreading your name. I thank you for every good thing you did to me. My mind is confused should I thank u for pain or should I continue my pray for relief.
What I always fail to “stand under” is the reason for making me ill. Till now my 20 ½ years experience says everything happens due to a past reason and something will happen due to this and 99.99 % of those reasons you don’t know and cannot guess what good will it do to me . for that one has to wait and watch and that’s what I lack patience .well on a “lighter note “ if it’s the end I won’t have to worry what happens due to it . But it looks hardly the case. the unthinkable are also the unwritable types .Unless you are sure nobody will read it .but I'm sure I'm gonna copy this to my blog hence this is the end of the discussion . And as I say “god bless you, god bless me and god bless us all”

life after training

2008-07-16T21:54:00.003+05:30

hi guys
training over
it was tiring it was hard word but it all fared out well
i learned a lot. met quite a lot types of people
and i also earned for the first time in my life
all in all another great experience of my life one more bookmark in my long life
god has been good to me infact he has been great to me
all my thanks to him
so now is the time when i should begin prep for the interviews i need to give after i go back to college.
lots of people tell me its luck and my luck used to be very good except in caase of academics in which it has alwaays beaten me. the dependency on luck takes the whole fun out of a game. if a game depends on ur knowledge u'll play well to win but if it depends on ur luck u r as good as anybody .so we'll see kya hota hai
lets c what god has in his bank for me i know it will be good
god gives you oppertunity and also limits them
first three companies coming to the campus for ice and im not eligible for any of them. two of them are core and one is tcs . i could have been eligible for tcs but due to bad luck of mine im not but that doest matter till other companies coming to campus make me sit into their interviews
sometimes i think that it is very sinple to get a job in our col on campus with a knowledge like that of mine and sometimes i think wat if they dont allow me to sit after seeing my marks and wat if im not able to convince them of my knowledge and experience . well barring the negetive thoughts only wont get me placed i neeed to gear up for the interviews and thats what im going to do in the rest of the vacations
i have lots of things in mind afer i get placed i need to buy an hard disk and an graphics card etc after i get placed
im gonna end this
and and as i say

god bless you god bless me and god bless us all

thank god
ankur bajaj

some of old pics which i found at my imageshack account

2008-07-08T00:44:00.002+05:30

Visit ankurbajaj9's (my) ImageShack profile

very buzy nowadays

2008-07-04T01:22:00.002+05:30

these days lots of things are happening to me one over another i earned something........
going to office
sleeping there
well they were to name a few
the fact of the moment is im not getting any time for myself
i need to do so much things but time is a problem im facing for the first time

need to go now
god bless us all

Never had a busier week home

2008-06-22T17:25:00.002+05:30

this week was busy
very busy
seven days of training and now sunday is about to get over without letting me even know it was there
i had thought to write lots of things on ma blog starting with a thought that came to my mind few days ago when i was in a bus
"If something happens to you because of me its due to your past deeds and never due to mine"

well for the intellectually unawakened people it means
for eg if u were benefited by my deed or i do something for you dont thank me thank god for sending the good deed through me for you
Well when i thought about it a feeling came that i was just a messenger and nothing else

getting very philosophical am i

have to go now
will c u all later
god bless me god bless you and god bless us all

2008-06-17T02:46:00.002+05:30

such a long time havnt posted here. had been buzy with my training. it isnt as good as i had expected but the good one would have been difficult to handle
i had fun in metro walk with the old friends of mine
will write more afterwards abhi sona hai
so as i always say god bless us all
cya tc gn

im down with fever

2008-05-28T02:14:00.001+05:30

even before i could start celebration of coming home , start going to office for training etc etc fever caught me
yes guys im down with fever and bad throat and all the bad things that can happen in vacations as a result i have been stuck to ma bed and degrees of the freedom have been reduced or the time spend drastically reduced
today i need to go to se my papers and lets c wat god has in mind for me does he allow me or not
while thinking about wat to write in blog i thought wat a strange thing this is while u r not well even if u have enough energy to move around u know u cant beacuse fever has gone down due to medicine and can come up any time . so i am confused all the time to use my energy or not most of the times i dont but still if its getting very boring at bed and stand up and walk around or sit on a computer like im doing write now
i had 101 fever, took my medicine , fever has gone down most prob and now im using the energy to write this post
i know i would have to sleep soon because cant afford to utilise all my strength for a blog post

i have big plans for this vacations very big indeed which i can fulfill only with the help of my health and i pray regularly asking god to give me back ma health but lets c wat he has in mind

if i continue to be like this u r gonna hear more of me and as i say everything god bless me and god bless you and god bless us all

hi training time

2008-05-22T10:47:00.002+05:30

Hi guys

exams got over and next week im going back to see my answer sheets. till than im a happy person and lets hope so that i remain like that
so nows wat is called a training time and by my luck i have got a company which offers me a chance to learn what i desire. lets hope for the best and that i dont get disappointed with work life and my enthu about doing work remains same

and after that the most awaited thing of my life the "placements" i may cross the 6 cgpa mark and then will have to work out through compitition where everyone is ready to pull someone back just to advance i may not come in anybody's path untill im desperate which means he is coming in my path

i will discuss my placement scenario as the vacations progress and now i move over to my fav topic "life"

i recently read a great line somewhere " one who has not learned to obey can never command" well i would like to stick it all over the coming first years so that they learn to do something for the college
i hate the way the first yrs take feeling and feel proud in ignoring the seniors
i was very senti in bidding farewell the final yr seniors who welcomed us with pdp when we entered first in college well it was a quite good bye and wasnt able to meet all of them and shot pics of few of them which i wll post on orkut as soon as i get them out of my mobile
i'll try to take the digi cam next time i go to college to see my sheets
lets hope everything goes good and if u r seeing me u will see more than often on this place will tell u how the training is
till than its god bless from ankur
njoy the life and make good use if it
cya tc and well see u soon

Blogging is becoming easier and easier now the word also provides ways to blog

2008-05-07T00:52:00.001+05:30

So I'm back after long to write a long post last few post of mine have been small one liners or so. This is my last post before exams and hope that these are the last exams I give seriously. A friend of mine once told me that I tend to accept the things as they are and don't try to change them. Well I can't contradict him but I wanna say that I try to change the things that I really care about, and one more thing I don't really cross lines to do it. I prefer to stay in my limits and work around the things maybe because I never came across such a thing that would make me cross lines like they say in rang de basanti "wo aag kuch kar dikahane ki". I have never in my life had that feeling. I loved one thing but as I have stated few posts ago I had to leave it. But I donno why I feel good about leaving it as it is and not fighting for it. I really tend to put things as god work and who am I the little soul to change it. I think I'm a little lazy when I say that but I really feel some things are like that only and u cannot do anything about it.

I sometimes feel that I have a small dream and u should always dream big. On the other hand I feel why not be satisfied and njoy whatever small u may do. These are small questions that keep arising in my mind and I keep postponing the answering of these questions maybe I'm not suppose to answer them maybe someone else will answer them for me maybe it will be answered by time

Maybe and maybe and maybe I ever I meet god and he grants me a wish It would be answer to each and every question that arise in my mind. No powers no special abilities only answer to all the questions that arise in my mind. By the way Amir Khan said every child is special and I'm still looking for that specialty…. Someone told me that this question will be answered by a special someone anyone can be a boy or a girl anybody ………… lets c

Till my exams get over god bless you god bless me and god bless us all……….

Wishing myself best of luck cya guys (and girls)

no net for so many days

2008-05-04T20:27:00.001+05:30

everything in this world is edible ! u just need to have the correct juices in your intestine

i would like to ask something of all the world out there
if u have broken my expectation once pls dont ask me for help because i wont refuse to help but my brain will always stop me while heart will say go on

thought of the day

2008-04-20T23:29:00.001+05:30

Blessings are always there for those who seek them but not only for those who ask

jai shri radhe

2008-04-19T00:49:00.001+05:30

Since i have just returned from the yatra of banke bihari it will take some time for jai shri radhe to get off my mouth but i dont think so that it will ever go away as jai bhole from the amarnath is still there
so yatra was good i njoyed it to the fullest and the food was good too the lassi wow i am gonna miss that kind of lassi. so where did i go it was mathura vrindavan and gokul
the tirath of lord krishna
was good and there was govardhan and shani mandir also. during the journey to home i met some lady who saw my hand and predicted i am not gonna study more than im currently doing
i donno wat will happen but donno will study or not wo to dekha jayega
i realised a thing after going to mathura why radhe aur krishna ki marriage nahi hui thi
well believe it or not they are one and the same
on this note tc cya njoy and jai shri radhe

this thing is good

2008-04-05T14:48:00.001+05:30

now i can make as many as blog post and post them when ever i wish
before this my blog post would come only at night quite a good tool indeed
as u all know my second sessionals are on head and i need to study i would not write something for which i would have to think
cya guys and tc and again wish me luck
God bless

Blogged with the Flock Browser

hi guys small exmas come again

2008-04-04T00:53:00.001+05:30

Im posting this blog using new browser named flock
hows everything
this post of mine would not be too big as my exmas are coming and i am taking some break fro the tries of study to write this post
nothing much in my life except the sessional ahead and a paperconference with me as a treasurer under iste nitj student chapter
april fool went quitely with a joke from college authorities of banning girls to go near oat
well they should introduce parda too comon we live in a free country and have freedom to do anything well it was a group of guys wo 1by 1 were caught by the college authorities kissing and all
today people have lost all their shame infact it seems they wanna show the world wat they do in the private life comon man thats the limit
as we say in hindi "hadd ho gayee hai " i hope these notices decrease this kind of activities
cya and wish me luck and as always GOD BLESS

sucessfully organised the quiz nad now im back home

2008-03-20T15:44:00.002+05:30

that day somebody was shock when i told him that i maintain my diary on the internet well i told him if u wanna know me talk to me the diary is just the part of large amount of feelings once experiences at a given time

2 days ago i with a sir and a 2 juniors successfully organized a technical quiz technodrill and now im looking forward for the organization of paper conference in my college
well ISTE has given me a platform after being pushed away from my dream as i have told u in my last post and im not gonna talk about it again
so im still waiting for the result of my first sessionals as the result of my this year depends upon me being placed or not
i dont feel like cheating the company to take me in but thats the last option if im not able to increase my cgpa i would like u all to pray for me and i know he who sits there will have something good for me
well nowadays i dont understand why im not scoring marks as im not bored with my subjects infact they r interesting and i donno what happens in paper that i dont write enough for the teacher to give me marks i dont write the answer even if i know it. i do not do it knowingly it just happens with me by the the time i figure this out happy holi to you all and god bless u me aur hum

thanks to everyone who helped me get away from techniti

2008-03-17T23:57:00.002+05:30

well this is a thanking you post for everyone who helped me get away from techniti 08 for which i had developed a possessiveness or i had thought it was my duty to do it some good
you all guys created such a situation in which i couldn't work for it. well i will not name you guys and i don't anyone of you would ever read this post. and since i could not come to you individually so i am posting a thanks on the internet

today i finally gave a farewell to techniti (dont remember how many times i have said that to myself) i dont think so i would ever say that again
so now as i think im gonna focus of my placement and ISTE rest all things r lost
it was a happy farewell not a sad one but i cannot cease to laugh on the blunders they will make as most of them hav little or no experience and this fest will be remembered as the worst fest in the college history.One thing i hate about leaving it is that guys from my year will not stop asking me if I am doing good Printing work or not well its bad to be type casted but im gonna explain them all
i am sorry to say that i chose the easiest way that is to back out but i had too do it my friends were loosing their patience and strength. i could have fought or pursue them fight but i decided not to. Just a final farewell

BYE BYE TECHNITI HOPE U DONT BRING THE NAME OF OUR COLLEGE DOWN

well i think i would get placed by then so i would enjoy the three day vacation granted to me by my fellow students

well this fight gave me some important lessons of politics and the timing is most important
i hate politics but the guys in my year taught me the basics of playing even if i didnt play

I am a firm believer in everything that happens to you happens to u happens for good so im accepting this backout as the good that happened to me. this is the basic reason im thanking all my fellows on my side or on other side.
THANK YOU for doing something good
i hope this would have done good for you too njoy

well its finally over

2008-03-09T23:22:00.000+05:30

the worst fest of my college life till now
i worked more in my 1st year than i worked in this one. well actually i had expected this kind of thing but still as my friend says u get attached to it and if it goes bad u feel responsible for it
it looked like first time
everytime something goes wrong we said we had no money and now we had lots of money but still we couldnt make it good.
well first time in col history so many faculty was involved and that too created problems for the organisers to show some innovation or creativity. i dont blame the students completely well it was the fault of the faculty to start it was a fault of mine to start and to end
i cant blame anyone except myself for this bad fest and after i say this i am not gonna think about this again well certainly UTK ends now and for ever

tom we are gonna try to see wats the state of techniti which i hav mentioned before that im not gonna be the part of it this is gonna be our last try the full and final attempt to get salvation
lets see wat happens
GOD BLESS US ALL

a quote from a book of mine

2008-02-24T01:37:00.003+05:30

management isn't a wonderful subject but i would like to quote something from the book im reading for it

In this fast changing world all the elements of human capital erode rapidly -- knowledge becomes obsolete unless it is updated, relationships weaken unless they are continuously refreshed , and the courage to act diminishes unless it is regularly exercised.
One has to become aware of these risks and make choice s about where to work and what to do based on that awareness .Instead of selling one's talents to the highest bidder, the opportunity to enhance personal human capital must be an integral factor in one's decision on where to invest the existing human capital

i hav decided to include things i find in this world and i find them interesting on my blog
thats for now cya later

You Always Have A Choice

2008-02-10T13:22:00.000+05:30

Yesterday night while talking with karnatak a thought struck me and upon his idea I decide to write
something after a long time .we were just throwing our thoughts at each other when I realized the
thought I had just spoken was on “choice“. I had heard the 90/10 formula which applies on the reactions
and now I had applied it on choices a person has the exact words that came out were “90 % of the
things u do is a result of your choice and the rest 10% is a choice of destiny”
Well I don’t deny that destiny does not play an important role in our lives but the point I am making is
that it plays important role iff the big decisions of your life come in the 10% reserved for your destiny As
they say “you always have a choice “. That’s 100% true even for the 10% part of destiny, as whatever
you do becomes your destiny after it has happened. To explain my point let’s take an example.
When I first came here after getting a seat nowhere, I knew my destiny has brought me here but still I
had a choice. To pursue computer science I could have gone back and continued my year course for
preparation for next year exams or I could have waited for IP’s third counseling in which I would have
got my brothers college. But when destiny gives a choice it weakens all other options thereby making a
choice for you
Bill Gates was a hard working guy and destiny made him meet the IBM chief who licensed his DOS for
their computer systems. The IBM had other choices too or the Bill Gates could not be able to strike a
deal the story would be something else. The choice has always been there and will be till there is a
human. God gave nature to human, few decided to conserve it others chose to destroy it as that was
easier. You decide whether to be yourself or to be what other person wants you to be. The way you
choose your clothes in the morning and the way you choose to display yourself in front of others are just
examples of small choices you control.
Making choices is never easy the more no of options the more difficult is the choice. The easiest choice
is letting destiny to choose it for you. The choice of wearing clothes is easier for men then for women.
The choice, normally for a boy to reply for a proposal from a gal is easier. Our most common choice is
between heart and mind. For some it’s difficult and for some too easy. Well it’s a matter of choice isn’t
it?
The one thing that defies choice is unconditional love. This feeling does not depend upon your choice to
happen but to say it or not is your choice. It does not depend on person’s choice to express it or not.
That’s is why love is said to cross all the boundaries it can affect your choice making abilities but can
never be chosen not to. Another thing unaffected by choice is presence of god or divine power if you
chose to believe it exists and even if you choose not to believe it still exists. The presence affects you
depending upon the choices you make. Good choices lead to good result and bad to bad ones.
You can put whatever you have done till now in the account of your choices or your destiny’s. It’s the
matter of your choice like you chose to read this article and now you will choose to incorporate it or
ignore it!


Believe me “You Always Have A Choice Buddy
                                        You Always Do…………………………”

Ankur Bajaj
10 Feb 2008
01:22 AM

got the bad news

2008-02-05T17:23:00.000+05:30

most of the times i can expect a bad news but this time i didnt this took me by surprise
and now to undo the effect of this bad news i hav to work hard cut my visits home and study study study
well thats the toughest job ever but a man gotto do what he gotto do and for my job i need to do it well its hard for me to see the negetive side of the thing but my mind keeps floating to the ifs and buts bad dreams of the result going haywire well only thing im doing for this is taking gods name asking him for help asking him to clear my path
but somewhere in deep heart i feel this is a part of his big plan and the result of this plan can be goo or bad that i dunno but hey god im not a bad guy dont punish me
lets see where does this adventure lead to i hav decided to study today and that i will. now days php-mysql takes a the time im not studying i think im not working hard on it and will hav to concentrate more
Nowadays the net is available at the room so i quickly find my doubts @ google the Utkansh has started and im stopping myself from going to final year and asking for work i hav postponed my utk work till the 1st sessionals
shopping for my sisters wedding started but i didnt find the right black coat to suit me found a nice blue 1 but i had decided for black 1 so i think im gonna get it stitched for myself! the first Coat Pant for me specially thats exiting
i dunno if i can afford to talk so much online i yhink i hav to go now and study guys and girls if any1 ever read this post please pray for me now i need then dont postporne the prayer for later u will forget
Cya guys tc and god bless us all

humour

2008-01-23T17:50:00.000+05:30

today im gonna talk about humour well my views and all i can think about it

As we see all around us guys and girls laughing and having a good time . has any1 tried to explain wat a humour is.
wordweb says
A message whose ingenuity or verbal skill or incongruity has the power to evoke laughter
well all im doing here is explaining why am i not a humourous guy
humour is 90 % exaggeration and rest situational
well this is true atleast for veg humour
so here comes the big question(at least its big for me) why im not a funny guy
well i explain it like this this spontaneous exaggeration thing does not come naturally to me and i never tried to develop this skill
so thats the end of a short post will be back soon with more definitions the ankur bajaj style till than tc

new year new resolution and already broken

2008-01-06T23:00:00.000+05:30

ya tomorrow thoda late ho gaya par yes im back and now im back finally in bed with minus temperature around me and a trip to science city today
will upload pics soon
thoughts from my mobile
"i never get angry with anyone only disappointed"
"im selfish ...... in case of experience, everything i do i do it for me"
i believe i hav to see a lot of wat we say this world and i dont mind seeing it as soon as possible
novels r a great way to see whats going on in this world and how people work
ya this business that im doing sitting in jalandhar is going not as great as i would hav expected it to go but sttill i cant complain as im not doing much for it
well i had lots to write before i sat down to write and now i cant remember wat it was
my birthday went as i would hav expected it with myself removing it from orkut
i never expected many guys to send a msg or call and they did wat they were expected to do forgot it happens
and the new year party was wat i expected it would be like. but i didnt expect to sleep at the stroke of midnight i wanted to stay up longer but i decided against it as i had to return to college
i know nobody would be interested to know wat i think and feel but it does not matter and i write it too make myself better and too learn how to express myself better
well i think thats all for now hav a good night and sleep tight

happy new year

2008-01-01T14:29:00.000+05:30

here comes the new year
wishing all my blog readers (which i hav a doubt that they exist or not) a very happy new year
i wich to write a lot but i think i will go not come back later tom and write something
cya guys later

winter vacations??????

2007-12-02T12:44:00.001+05:30

aur sunao dosto kya haal hai
im good life is moving and now im going to hav a long winter ahead. college khatam but still im stuck in college
hota hai we hav to clear all the sins we can before we can move ahead and here i am clearing my sin of last sem
there in not much new in my life except this leadcap thing looks a nice movement and neel mani seems to be over excited about it lets c wat it leads to well i havnt done my first assignment till today but i think i will do it on Monday. u dont hav to think u hav to decide i will do it on Monday
aur techniti ka to kya kahen i think i would quit it for good and for the experiance sake 3 years 4 fests are enough i think
well experience is a thing which u cannot stop having but that time i will concentrate on my placement interviews rather than taking part i think i will miss it but still u hav to take decisions in ur life and this was tough
well wat not i had thought about the next tech fest in my college and now i im leaving it and moving ahead. this post should be the last time i am thinking about this fest
lets work for Utkansh and make it a success
well kamal always says learn to type without seeing the keyboard but i say why to take so much tension just take a chilll pill and do wat u wish to do
this is after a long time i am writing so much from a keyboard anf io think i would hav to increase my habit to write on keyboard and sto pbeing lazy about it
cya guys(i hope somebody unknown is reading it and will comment on it)
waiting for comments
yours friendly neighborhood bajaj
ankur bajaj
9417432323

4.11.07

2007-11-05T21:18:00.000+05:30

h i guys im back on my pc finally the net works but the speed is baaaaaad
so diwali's near and im coming home for diwali
i thought to start
"i seek knowledge and not education"
and girls r requested not to take my blog seriously(if any1 of u is reading this which i think is difficult)
my fest got over and i think i hav got my chance of a lifetime to play a big role in the upcoming techniti
so watever is in my fate i will accept it with full hands and i think i am lucky
and i will never forget why i was not able to give the last of my exams and hope this is the last time that thing has ever happened to me
and now i will hav to stay here for makeups
our college is bad they are bringing out new laws and bad laws like the 1 today that they r going to increase the sem duration if the totel no of classes held r less than the min

2007-10-17T15:30:00.000+05:30

whenever u r doing something that excites u that indulges u fully u cannot feel the pain caused by the thing
this has happened to me some times in life like that on the way to amarnath, during the utkansh and techniti
i realized in recent times how much emphasis the guys give on the names of the girls of college like they r going to propose her the very next day
i hate this "girl talk" comon guys there r more imp things in the life than gals lot more imp
cant write more as its not my pc im working on i hope i will be back

1 0ct 2007

2007-10-01T00:42:00.000+05:30

hi guys
im back without a bang!
hav got a new hairstyle new spex new shoes and old mind(however small it may be)

i have a big fest ahead of me to watch out for
i was typecasted by utkansh and due to that im again the head of printing and publishing committee
this year we at spice organized a aptitude test which was a scholarship test for niit well i feel guilty for having children face an scholarship test in name of aptitude test but it wast a big lie i told any1 who asked me wat was it about and we would be awarding prizes wat else do they need

so we at spice did something this time!!!
and now comes techniti i think im gonna get totally grinded due to this but ya im ready and with 2 year experience and more than prepared
so nothing else is going on in life no girlfriends and all just me and my happiness
hope u all remain happy tc cya

21/june/2007

2007-09-30T23:39:00.000+05:30

and a hello im ankur , ankur bajaj. on this date 21 june 2007 im a 19 year third year student of a Engg institution in india

well i hav been thinking blogs such a waste of time. but finally decided to write 1 to maintain it as a diary since i hav decided to write it regularly (donno if i’ll be able to maintain it or now) to start about me

Im a the happiest guy in the universe

No No !!dont think i happy today therefore im writing like this

I am writing it like this because im so happy to hav a god who backs me up in everything i do he gets me out of difficult situations and grants me favors.

my life contains quite a lot of ups and downs hav faced a dead end lots of time but there is always a magician like hagrid who opens the wall for getting me through (like in diagon ally harry potter book 1) that magician is god

Well that was me and my fairy tale

now my hobbies and all

computers and anything related to them

novels any i can get my hands on

computer games well any 1st person or ages type koi bhi chalegi time pass hi to karna hai

nothing else

this was the end of my first post

HOPE we will be back for more soon